Monday, October 27, 2014

Just One of Those Weeks




I am not SuperMom this week...and it's okay.  I want to keep it real here.   
I am tired.  I have slept for 10-11 hours a night, and am still yawning all day long.   I took a nap when C was at preschool, instead of doing something “productive.” 
I don't feel strong.  I ate Halloween candy and potato chips.  
I am kind of cranky and irritable.  I can’t seem to handle much of anything.  I feel spacey and out of it. 
I feel like I need a break.  A day to just lie in bed all day and cry. Or read.  Or listen to the sound of silence.  
I feel uninspired.
I had been feeling really good for the last month or so.   I was motivated, happy, and upbeat.   But I am human, after all, and I have bad days.  Sometimes, my brain just needs a “reset.”   Or maybe my body or mind needs to process something big.   I am honoring that.  Though others may not understand, I am choosing to give myself grace.  This too shall pass.  It always does, doesn't it?
I am committed to my goal of “accepting imperfection,” so I am rejecting guilt.  

We humans all have our days (or weeks or months).  We are not perfect and it's okay.  Let's rid our minds of the idea that we should be perfect.  Are you with me?
Life is good.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Gratefulness




They say you can't really be in a rotten mood if you are focusing on being grateful.  In fact, many people have a gratitude journal, in which they write down 3 things they are thankful for every day.  I think it's a great idea!  However, let's be real here.  There is not much I can commit to doing EVERY SINGLE DAY besides maybe taking a pee and sleeping.  So, I decided to just write down a bunch of random things I'm thankful for in one sitting.  Here goes...

God
Earplugs
Slippers
Beer
Hot water
Waterproof bed pads for kids
Coffee
Fall leaves
Love
Therapy
Freedom
An open mind
My boys
My boys' bedtime
My bed
Family
Christmas
Facebook
Pinterest
New baby smell
Xanax
Essential Oils
Kids who say "w" in place of "r"
My health
Online shopping
Coupon codes
My phone
My husband
Sticky kisses from my 5 year old
Spanx
Legos
Chocolate
Heat
Sunshine
Electronics (ooo. I love AND hate this one.)
Clearance racks
Babysitters
Money to pay babysitters
Friends
Makeup
Hugs
Wine
Electricity
Air
Dishwasher
Pizza
Indoor Plumbing
Breezy summer nights
Forgiveness
Music


Life is good.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Big 4-0


I just turned 40.  Whoa.  The Big 4-0. 
Surprisingly, I couldn't care less.  I think 40 is way better than 20. 
Here's why:

I know who I am. 
Looking back at my younger years, I almost feel sadness for that girl trying to find herself.  Now, I know what I stand for.  I know my beliefs. I know my interests.  And I'm cool with it.  Now that I've become a little more, um, seasoned, I am content and happier with who I am.  Isn't that everyone's goal? 

I know life is short.
I have come to realize what matters in my life.  Hard to believe, but it's not money, or a house, or fame, or recognition.  It's family.  Loved ones.  Happiness.  Precious Moments (No, not those dust-collecting statues of little kids in a rowboat.).  People who support me.  Memories.  Connection. Doing what inspires me.  There are too many reminders every day of how short life is.  On my deathbed, I know I wont be thinking "Man, I wish I had that bigger house or had more money."  The only thing left is relationships. Life is short, and I cherish what matters now more than ever.

I know who my people are.
Sorry, but when you're a mom of a certain age, you just don't have the extra energy for people that judge you, or don't treat you well.  I know my people. I know who gets me. I know who respects me.  I know who is REAL.  Ain't nobody got time for toxic people in their lives.  I cut a couple of those people out of my life, and I don't regret it.  I loved myself enough to stop allowing the disrespect and lies.  Surround yourself with people who love you for you. And the occasional crazy relative.

I know my likes and interests.
Wow. This really is life-changing. What are your interests? I mean, deep down.  Your core values.  What fascinates you and excites you?  I used to think I had to "find myself."  But I've come to realize that my passions really have not changed much since childhood.  I like what I like, and that's okay.  That's good enough.  As I'm entering this new phase in life, I'm learning what it's like to be even more real and to live authentically.  I'm pursuing more of what I love, and it feels good.  Living someone else's dreams can only lead to resentment.

I am stronger.
I would call myself pretty easy-going when it comes to most things. Where to go eat. Changes in plans.  Whatever.  I can go with the flow.  But something happens when you become a wise, old parent.  You become a ferocious beast that would do anything for your family. You would face any obstacle or criticism. You would climb over mountains and walk though fire for your children. Once you know better, you do better. You find strength and determination you never knew you had.  It's fascinating, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I give myself grace.
This one is so hard, but I'm working at it harder.  I'm not Supermom.  I don't always have it all together.  You probably don't want to eat off my floors.  There are piles of papers and laundry.  I don't have abs or buns of steel. I don't look like I walked out of a fashion magazine.  But the biggest and best lesson I've learned is that I don't have to be perfect to be good enough.  Read that again, peeps.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE GOOD ENOUGH.  This has taken me so long to "get."  To really get. 

I have the arms of my precious children around my neck no matter what my hair looks like that day.   If I am late, the world will keep spinning.  My husband loves me even if the house isn't perfect.  My family still needs me even if my dinner tasted awful.  God loves me.  I am loved.

Grace and love for yourself.  It seems so unattainable, but it's so worth reaching for.

So with that, I say "sayonara, 30s."  I am giddy with excitement about what the next decade wants to teach me.

Life is good.
Not over the hill yet.